When a Friend is Unlovable

When I was very young, my sister had a cassette tape (No such thing as a CD or MP3 then).

It was a tape about friendship. One of the friends was going to leave the city with her parents. There were many lovely songs in the CDs, but I only remember 2 things in the tape. One is a song called Friends Forever, the other a poem that one of the friends wrote for this girl.

It went like this:

"A friend should be radical
He should love you when you're unlovable
Hug you when you're unhuggable
And bear you when you're unbearable.

A friend should be fanatical
He should cheer when the whole world boos
Dance when you get good news
And cry when you cry too.

But most of all, a friend should be mathematical
He should multiply the joy, divide the sorrow
Subtract the past and add to tomorrow
Calculate the need deep in your heart
And always be bigger than the sum of all their parts."

Now, this may not be the best poem in the world. But it came to my mind out of the blue recently.

Of late, I have been disappointed, even frustrated, with a friend of mine. I know that she has been feeling troubled for a few years now. And though I've tried ways and ways to comfort, counsel and distract her, I know that my efforts were all in vain because she thinks I do not understand. But I feel that in our friendship, it is always about her.. and that she is not really interested in me.

Then suddenly, I remember this poem I heard when I was young - a friend should should love you when you're unlovable, hug you when you're unhuggable and bear you when you're unbearable.

That's so true and exactly what I should do to my friends, including this particular friend.

A stream I used to walk pass

- I always like to reflect about life around water..